We Need Greater Empathy, Not Mere Tolerance

Much of the effort to teach about racial, ethnic, religious, sexual identity and other differences among humans is about tolerance.

To tolerate another is to “put up with.” You can roll your eyes, verbally bash the “intolerables,” and you may even “permit” them to… move into your neighborhood, attend your school, and work in your office. How generous (my eye roll).

As a Character Education Consultant in the 1990’s, I worked with parents and schools in how to teach and raise ethical children with caring values. I never once used the word “tolerate.” That was too low a bar of expected behavior.

To truly understand another person, particularly one that is different from you, we must teach empathy.

Empathy is learning to step into another’s shoes. It’s actually quite simple.

If you know what fear feels like, that’s what it’s like for African Americans every time they step outside.

If you know what bullying feels like, that’s what it’s like for LGBTQ people every day.

If you know what hate feels like, that’s what it’s like for Jewish people worldwide.

If you know what desperation feels like, that’s what it’s like for people along the border fleeing for their lives.

If you know what powerlessness feels like, that’s what it’s like for millions of women everywhere.

These are examples of empathy, of trying your damnedest to understand on a gut level what other people experience.

Tolerance is the rock bottom minimum of what we should teach as well as expect from each other.

If we’re going to repair our world, we need to learn and practice empathy.

Only then will we see ourselves reflected in the faces of others.

Only then will we grow respect and compassion for all.

I see you.  ❤