Kindsight: noun

Definition: To reflect on the past with an optimistic and positive attitude. (Source: MyWord Dictionary)

OK, it’s not a real word, but it’s one I’m going to use forever.

Too often we reflect on our past with regret.

Woulda, shoulda, coulda creeps in.

We could teach a course in beating up ourselves over something we said, didn’t say, did, or didn’t do in the past.

We replay it over and over in our minds, as if we’re hoping for a different outcome. When we don’t get that outcome, we beat up on ourselves again.

Somehow, somewhere, we got the message that we should always have a brilliant response to every question, statement, or problem in the moment. That we should be the “P” word: perfect.

But there are no perfect people and mistakes are part of every life.

We learn by doing. Sometimes we do well. Sometimes we do less well.

Then there are the times we make a mistake. Even a whopper of a mistake.

When we learn from a mistake, then we get to rename it a “learning experience.”

Now you know. You’re that much wiser.

As the late Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better.”

So, give yourself a break when you reflect on the past.

Practice kindsight.

The next time you look in your “rearview mirror” with horror, stop and ask yourself what you learned. Lean into that learning. Praise yourself for how much smarter you are now.

Be kind to yourself. If not you, then who?